I’m a big fan of working out my problems physically.

Usually that takes the form of going on a long walk, but I’ll also do smaller things throughout the day like simple exercises and EFT/tapping. Being active most days has worked wonders for my anxiety, and overall mental health. Even when my fibromyalgia is flaring up and my entire body hurts, I’ll still make a point to stretch at least.

The goal is just to take action and work it out. When you move your body, your mind will follow, even if you’re not quite feeling it at first.

Sometimes I like to go a step further.

When I feel lost mentally, I’ll take the day off and go get lost physically, and fully immerse myself in the process of finding my way out (of both situations).

Here’s an example:

The day after last week’s incident, I found my mind circling in a state of frustration. I wasn’t being productive. I was caught up in the residual icky feeling that comes with outrage over someone claiming to care about my well being but going to great lengths to hurt me emotionally, and second guessing myself even though I knew for sure I had made the right decision in cutting off all contact with this person.

If I didn’t make a point to stop this cycle, I was going to gaslight myself into thinking I was too harsh, and possibly not maintain the healthy boundaries I had set. Again. (A terrible habit I formed from decades of narcissistic abuse.)

So yeah. That mindset had to go ASAP.

I wasn’t accomplishing anything worthwhile at that point so I took the rest of the day off to address it and get it out of my system. I had to find my confidence, understand deep down that I did the right thing, and be able stand strong with my decision. If I’m going to continue moving forward, I have to drop all of the things holding me back.

So I packed a bag, put on my headphones, and went out for a walk.

The goal was to get lost from the beginning.

I didn’t really want to do it at first. For the first mile or so, I kept finding reasons as to why I should turn around- I don’t like this, the wind is too cold, I’m getting myself into something I’m not ready for, etc. But I kept going. I knew this was something I had to work through. I had to trust the process.

And the discomfort didn’t really last long. Once I broke through that first ‘acceptance barrier’, the walk suddenly got a lot easier. I felt a surge of energy, my mood felt a little lighter, and the walk itself was starting to become enjoyable.

Coincidentally, the weather improved around then as well. The sharp winds stopped and the clouds began to break up a bit.

I think this was about the time I started looking forward to the getting lost part of the trip because then I arrived at the park and took that incline like a champ. And I didn’t really think much about the forest trails I chose, knowing they all lead out somewhere eventually. I was moving at a steady pace and it felt great. That’s what I was there for.

I had finally reached the point where I was feeling good within myself, and separate from everything outside of that.

I usually explain that feeling as, “my brain is smiling”. (Okay, stoner.) And I’ve heard others refer to it as “smiling on the inside”. Whatever it is, it’s nice. It’s real. That’s what happiness feels like.

And then came the realization-

If I don’t feel some form of this feeling when I think of someone, then their opinions of me should not be taken to heart. I don’t have to let in people who aren’t uplifting. I don’t have to tolerate prolonged negative interactions.

And that dude can fnck off already.

Suddenly the problem was no longer a problem. My anxiety ceased to exist in that moment. And I found the peace I needed.

I also found myself at the top of the mountain, with a nice NY autumn view.

I felt this massive wave of accomplishment, and after taking this photo, started the trek back to civilization.

I noticed a huge difference during this part of the hike. I was dancing to the music as I walked. And that energy carried on throughout the night, into the next day. I successfully freed myself from that mess, all on my own.

I needed that self empowerment stuff so desperately right then, I worked for it, and I got it. And the process can be repeated and applied to other situations in the future.

Maybe it can help you as well.

If you’re in a situation where you’re feeling lost, try getting lost physically too. (Do it responsibly though- safety first.) You might find what you’re looking for.

And you don’t necessarily have to walk as far or as intensely as I did. Do you. You’ll know when it’s right.