Yesterday was my birthday! 🎉
I spent the day out in the world: breakfast at Clinton Street Cafe in Binghamton, an afternoon at the Corning Museum of Glass (my first visit since childhood), and dinner with friends at 205 Dry in downtown Binghamton. (Posts coming soon!) We didn’t rush any of it. We took our time, stayed present, and enjoyed the day as it unfolded.
That felt like the right way to mark this milestone.
Turning 40 isn’t about slowing life down — it’s now about moving with intention.
What Turning 40 Has Taught Me So Far
This birthday wasn’t just about the day itself — it was a marker of how much my life has changed in a relatively short amount of time.
In less than four years, I’ve rebuilt my entire life from the ground up. The biggest difference now isn’t where I am (despite that being a big accomplishment in itself) — it’s how I live.
Here are the lessons and habits that matter most to me at 40:
1. Regulating Your Nervous System Is Foundational
For most of my life, my body only knew hardship. I lived in a near-constant state of stress without realizing how much it was affecting everything else.
Therapy has been a major part of learning how to feel safe in my own body. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned that healing isn’t optional — it’s foundational. When your nervous system is overwhelmed, everything else becomes harder.
Healthy habit:
Prioritize rest, routine, and support (therapy, journaling, quiet walks, consistent sleep). These aren’t luxuries — they’re maintenance.
2. Systems Matter More Than Motivation
After a late ADHD diagnosis, I realized I had spent decades trying to rely on willpower alone. It never worked.
Over the last few years, I’ve built practical systems to manage my life and work — calendars, routines, checklists, and boundaries that reduce friction instead of adding pressure.
Healthy habit:
Build systems that support you on your worst days, not just your best ones. Motivation is unreliable; structure is not.
3. Discipline Is a Form of Self-Respect
Discipline used to feel restrictive to me. Now, I see it as protective.
I practice discipline daily — especially on days I don’t feel like it — because consistency creates stability. That stability makes everything else easier, from mental health to creative work.
Healthy habit:
Keep small daily commitments you can actually sustain. Consistency beats intensity, especially as you age.
4. Boundaries Are Essential, Not Optional
One of the biggest shifts I’ve made is setting firm boundaries around my time and energy.
At 40, I’m much clearer on what drains me, what supports me, and what I’m no longer willing to tolerate. Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out — they’re about protecting what you’re building.
Healthy habit:
Say no sooner. Protect your mornings, your evenings, and your recovery time.
5. Aging Well Is About Sustainability
Turning 40 has made me think less about productivity and more about sustainability.
How do I want my days to feel long-term?
What habits can I maintain for decades, not just seasons?
Taking my time, staying present, moving my body, eating well, and managing stress aren’t trends — they’re long-game decisions.
Healthy habit:
Choose routines you can live with long-term. If it only works when you’re exhausted or overextended, it won’t last.
Healthy Habits I’m Prioritizing at 40
Consistent sleep routines
Going to bed and waking up around the same time whenever possible — protecting sleep as a non-negotiable.
Nervous system regulation
Therapy, quiet walks, time offline, and building more calm into my days instead of pushing through stress.
Simple, repeatable systems
Calendars, routines, and checklists that reduce decision fatigue and support my ADHD instead of fighting it.
Daily discipline over motivation
Showing up consistently, especially on low-energy days, and keeping commitments small but steady.
Clear boundaries around time and energy
Saying no sooner, protecting mornings and evenings, and leaving space for rest.
Regular movement that feels sustainable
Walking, gentle activity, and movement I can maintain long-term rather than intense routines that burn me out.
Eating in a way that supports stability
Regular meals, enough protein, and fewer extremes — focusing on consistency over perfection.
Time spent offline and in nature
Less constant input, more presence, and regular time outside to reset and ground.
A Different Kind of Celebration
This birthday wasn’t loud or dramatic. It was full, steady, and intentional.
Celebrating 40 meant acknowledging the work I’ve done — internally and practically — and committing to continue living in a way that supports my health, clarity, and energy.
Becoming doesn’t stop at any age. But at 40, I’m doing it with more structure, awareness, and self-trust than ever before.
Oh, Kae. 
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